Life got a bit crazy for a bit and that combined with a crisis of confidence meant I haven't written for a while.
In our house there's no such thing as a calm period but even for us it's been busy. Now, I couldn't particularly tell you what's been going on, there's been no big calamity, but I have felt pulled in all directions and couldn't justify to myself the 'time out' to sit and write.
I have missed it though. So after a debate about whether to park it for a while or not I have decided to carry on for a few reasons;
Without writing I get lost in busyness and I find myself going with the flow on automatic pilot whereas writing is in itself reflective. I have to think about why I'm approaching things a certain way and that helps me be mindful and constantly evaluate my parenting which is important.
I am in conflict with myself about privacy versus sharing. On one hand I find the whole idea of details about my family 'out there' in the great unknown world that is cyberspace a scary concept. However without sharing experiences how do we learn and reach others? We sent our children to school for 7 years because we did not realise there was an alternative. Whereas I have no wish to influence or stand judgement on anyone else I do feel it's important that every parent knows they have a choice. If by sharing our experiences another family feels able to take the plunge and give their children a childhood without school, and enjoy the subsequent enrichment of family life, then that's a good thing.
I was worried that as I only have small snippets of time to quickly get down in writing what I've been thinking about, that I had a quality issue. If I'm posting unrefined ramblings instead of quality prose, should I be bothering? If somethings worth doing.. and all that. However, the reality is it's the former or nothing. If I do nothing we wouldn't have this record of family life as it happened and I think it will be good to look back on.
I also feel guilty when I do anything which takes time away from the children. With six of them, I find it hard to meet all their needs as it is. 'You never have time to...' is a constant refrain. I do believe strongly in modelling though. If I want them to enjoy books they need to see us reading, if I want them to value writing, the best way is to set the example and write myself. Children don't like to be told what to do but they will learn what they live. As I am writing now, Beth is sat beside me writing a letter to a friend and Anna is on her laptop writing her blog about Skye.
I love photography. With the blog to find photo's for I found myself thinking to take the camera out much more frequently rather than relying on snaps from my phone. This interest then passes down to the children, and both Anna and Beth are now starting to take and edit good quality photo's.
So on balance I think I'll continue, now I just need to think of something to write about...
