Teenage Talk

In our family as each child turns eight we take them out to dinner and have the big 'eight year old talk', (see here) . This has worked really well for us so we decided we would take each child out once they turned 13 too. Our motivation for this is that we felt it was really important to celebrate them becoming teenagers. Teenagers often get a bad press and Justin and I both remember our own teenage years as a time of angst peppered with frequent rows with parents.

We want to embrace this time though and start off this potentially rocky period with open communication and a real commitment to keeping our relationships with our teenagers as close and positive as possible. 'Connection before Direction' has become my motto and I try to remember to put our relationship first when deciding what issues to tackle and how. Justin and I also try to keep cognizance of the fact that the part of the brain which allows you to put yourself in someone else's position and understand their viewpoint doesn't develop until the early twenty's. Teenagers are therefore by nature more self orientated so we try to keep our expectations realistic. I also try to understand their need to vent occcasionally and rather than take it personally see it as a sign of their trust in our relationship which gives them the security to 'let it out' when they are frustrated. That said we set a high store on respect in our family so it's a constant balancing act.

Anna, bless her, gets all the 'firsts' in our house and has to put up with the most amateur parenting as we learn our way with her. As it was Anna we were taking out we also had to bring Bramble, our foster assistance puppy in training, as she goes everywhere with her. 

Bramble settled down quietly under the table, thank goodness,and we had a really lovely evening. It was wonderful to be able to give Anna our full attention without the usual hundred and one interruptions. She is very special and we love her company. I feel very grateful that as she is home educated I get to spend so much time with her. 

When we got home the younger children had had a fun evening watching Scooby Doo and eating popcorn with a good friend of ours. A definite success all round and a tradition we now intend to continue.